Kathy was my host mom in Lakewood this past season, but our relationship stretches back to the year before when I got called up for Lakewood's first of two consecutive championships. I especially wanted to commemorate her life and legacy on my blog because she was always so enthusiastic about my writing and was always supporting me to continue to develop my writing voice and skills and I think she would be very pleased to see me continue, especially in her memory. Everyone leaves a legacy once they pass on from this world and Kathy's is especially inspiring and important to so many of us. It is my hope that this reaches Phillies and baseball fans far and wide to tell the story of her legacy and shed light on a very personal side of minor league baseball; the relationship between players and their host families. I have reached out to my teammates, inside the Phillies organization and some now in other organizations, who had the honor of getting to know her from years past to present and will include their thoughts and memories of Kathy at the end of my entry and as they come in.
The first time I met Kathy was in my first year of professional baseball shortly after my first call up. It was in Haggerstown, Md (Yes, she very occasionally made it to some of our road series, a testament to her dedication to her “sons” on the team, just as any other proud mother would travel to watch and support her son). I had just gotten off my flight from Florida and was joining the team for their playoff run. As I scrambled out onto the field to stretch, I saw a lady who was surrounded by my new teammates standing near our dugout. There were smiles all around and guys kept hugging her before they headed out to stretch. Her magnetic personality and happy enthusiasm for us was always on display, right from the start for me. I was quickly called over to her by some of the teammates to be introduced and upon giving her a hug, one of the first things Kathy did was offer me a place to stay at her home with her family and the other couple of players she was hosting. I had already decided to live with a few of the other guys on the team in their apartment so I politely declined but told her if I returned next season I would hope I would be on the top of her list of players to host. The next day she had a huge snack bag put together for me. This is something Kathy routinely did for many guys on the team to help the long bus rides pass more pleasantly. Prior to this past season, I went out of my way to contact her months before spring training to ask if she and her wonderful husband, Bob, would have me if I was assigned to Lakewood and she quickly confessed she was hoping I would ask. I got assigned to Clearwater for the beginning of the season, but around the half I was moved down to Lakewood so I could start and get in more at bats. She was one of the first people I called and despite her house being full with Adam Buschini and Jiwan James, she said she would make room for me.
Upon showing up, I found that Kathy had gone out and bought a bed for me and converted their den into a bedroom for me. I was blown away. Not to mention, Kathy and Bob never charged us rent, and she constantly made food for us almost on call. I really hope she enjoyed it, which I have a strong feeling she did, because she was always whipping something up for us. When I broke my arm, she was genuinely heartbroken for me and was at the airport every other week in Philadelphia to pick me up and take me to my checkups with the surgeon. She was even there to take me to surgery and bring me home and take care of me like the most loving of mothers until I flew home to rest and be with my family back home. Kathy was there to comfort me and encourage me through the entire process, which was hard at times. She didn't just do this for me though, she did the same for Buschini when he had surgery on his hand shortly after I had left and all the ensuing appointments he had, as well as one of our new draft guys, Guantlett Eldemire, who ended up having surgery on his wrist before he ever played an inning of pro ball and is fully recovered and ready to do work this year. When I shocked the doctors and returned to the Blueclaws before playoffs even started, well before my prognosis said I would, which was next year, she was again like a proud mother and quickly welcomed me back into her home and “my room”, as Adam's spot was quickly filled when he left after surgery and Micheal Dabbs arrived. She was there for me, Adam and Gauntlett for our entire recovery and was undoubtedly partly responsible for our healing progress.
Outside of baseball, Kathy's character was no less selfless, as she was a nurse for many years and was still serving the local school district as a substitute nurse for school children whenever needed. She had a masters in Nursing Education on top of an undergraduate degree in nursing. Helping others was undoubtedly her passion, even more so outside of her baseball life which is hard to believe because of the generosity she relentlessly showed us. As another testament to Kathy and her husband's love for helping others, she and Bob adopted two of their children from Columbia years ago and raised them along with their other children and other kids from around the neighborhood.
I could go on and on about the great memories I have of Kathy, her husband Bob and their family, but I want to leave room for my teammates to write about theirs. Kathy did get to proudly see and be there when one of her “sons” made it to the big leagues, in the form of Dominic Brown. I am so happy to say she also got to enjoy and be a part of back to back Lakewood Blueclaws championships prior to her passing, something she savored for us almost as much as we did. I last talked to her on Christmas day and luckily got to tell her I loved her before we hung up. She will be missed greatly and undoubtedly has a large group of professional baseball players, myself included, dedicating their upcoming seasons to her memory and her family. I love you Kathy, thank you for changing my life, and countless others' lives for the better. Rest In Peace.
(Kathy and me, “one of her guys”, after we won the 2010 South Atlantic League Championship.)
D'Arby Myers wrote, “Kathy is one of the most caring and kindest people I ever met. Her love for her boys and other people was greater than I could have ever imagined. She will always be my New Jersey mom.”
Zach Collier wrote,”Never ever would of thought, one of the nicest people I know is gone now. Honestly I loved you like family and I know you truly loved us the same! Kathy I love you so much and appreciate everything you've done.. may you now rest in peace.. this upcoming season is for you...”
Gauntlett Eldemire wrote, “She was like another parent. She cared deeply about the players and the team and the Phillies organization. She was just such an overall wonderful person.”
Adam Buschini wrote, "Kathy was my host Mom at Lakewood in 2010. After only a few months of knowing her, I did not see her as my host mom, but as family. Kathy was such a nice and caring person and I am honored that I had the chance to know her. She was always there for me through the thick and thin and I will always remember her forever.
I played hurt for part of the past season with my injured right hand and Kathy was always so concerned and supportive. (Her favorite saying was “You guys get a double dose, I am a nurse and a mother”) My roommates were Jiwan James for the whole season and Brian Gump, and Michael Dabbs for about a month. Once I had to get surgery, Kathy took care of me like I was one her own children. She drove me to Philadelphia, had the surgery, and drove me back to New Jersey to recover at her house. My parents were going to fly out for my surgery from California but they knew how loving Kathy was and knew how much she cared about my health.
After surgery I flew home to California in the middle of July. I flew back to Philadelphia five times, (once a month) to get a check up from the Doctor. Each time Kathy would take me to my appointment and we would spend the rest of the day together visiting the city. One day we went to the National Constitution Center, Independence Hall, and the Liberty Bell. Another one of my favorite days was a tour through City Hall, which is the largest municipal building in the United States. But the time I visited in October I told her, “Kathy, I will remember this for the rest of my life, you have no idea.” Kathy got us tickets to the Phillies vs. San Francisco Giants NLCS Game 2 from probably her favorite host son, Phillies Right Fielder Dominic Brown. We got to talk to Browny before the game and had seats behind home plate. I am from California and grew up a Giants fan and now playing for the Phillies. I got to watch both of my favorite teams play at game 2 of the NLCS (I was rooting for the Phillies of course.) After all of these great times I spent with Kathy, her passing away came as such a shock and it has been a rough past couple of weeks. We spent so much quality time together, I can’t really explain all the great memories and conversations we had.
I flew out for Kathy’s funeral and made it to the visitation and service. I could not imagine what her husband Bob and the rest of her family was going through. Mike Durant, another Phillies player, lived with Kathy and Bob a few years past and was there as well. Mike and I were talking about how Kathy and Bob were our family and they would of done anything for us. I feel so lucky to have had such good people in my life, like Kathy and Bob, affecting it in a positive way. Bob told both of us to stay over for the night and we both slept there. Bob said, “you guys are family, you got to stay with us.” After the funeral, I got to spend the day with the whole family and it felt great to be with them. Bob said he is flying to Spring Training and I will be looking forward to seeing him along with many of the other players. It was really hard to say goodbye to everyone, but I am glad I was there to support the family and I know they appreciated it. I know Kathy is in a better place right now and watching over me. I am so blessed that she was part of my life." -Adam Buschini
These are some truly heartfelt comments from our son Brian and some of Kathy's "other sons." My wife, Margaret, and I had the opportunity to meet Kathy and Bob last year when Brian was staying with them and we were both very impressed and very thankful that Brian was being so well looked after. It gave us a real sense of peace to know Kathy and Bob were such loving surrogate parents. We were shocked to hear of Kathy’s sudden illness and death and we could tell Brian was very shaken when he told us. We hope Bob and his family can weather their loss and know how much Kathy meant to so very many people. Her impact was felt far and wide by many who will remember her kindness for the rest of their lives.
ReplyDeleteMark (Brian Gump’s dad)